Holy darkside luke!

So I realized my last post probably only offended those people against love ballads, so in keeping with the offending everybody so as not to alienate, I've posted what seems to be a very disturbing likeness. Ze german is in control.

New iTunes buy

I'm going to talk about the acoustic renditions album, cover is the same only says "[acoustic renditions]" under "Lift"


So I've always been a fan of Sister Hazel, but hadn't really heard anything new, or looked for that matter, in a while. I get the iTunes music letter (mainly for the free download every week) and I saw a new Sister Hazel CD. I bought it, only to find out that there is another Lift CD and this is just the acoustic rendition of 5 of the best songs from the original Lift album. However, I really enjoyed it. This is basically a love ballad CD, catchy, some songs bluesy, a good buy.

The first song is "The World Inside my Head", it's got piano, fun chorus, great words, this song talks about how he feels better when he paints his days with "purple seams and left out grays", basically he's living in his own little world. "Where did everybody go without me?" this is the attatchement to the real world, he's seeing that people have moved on and he's still just where he was when they left him still fantasizing. Basically the song is about day dreaming, but on a larger scale... I think.

Second song, "Hold On", the guitar is almost a little too repetitive at first, then it gets better, trust me. It's about difficult love, I know this all too well, ups and downs, rights and wrongs.
"I wanted so much to fill you up
But your cup is full of me
I've left a bitter taste on you
But you say its bitter sweetly"
Love is exhausting, but you have to "hold on to every little piece of my love". Sometimes we love right and sometimes we love wrong.

"Firefly", the girl that we all want to find. The girl where "everywhere is better with her", she's "not like anyone". Now I know a few girls like that, but the ones that are so different are hard to please, the one who knows more about art than you do and you are fascinated when she talks, she lights you up like a "firefly".

I love "Another Me" when we all think there is something wrong with ourselves.
"And I'm waiting for another me
One in between the burn and the lessons learned
'Cause being me ain't no way to be"
We are all living one big lesson and sometimes it seems that no matter how many lessons we've learned, we still get screwed and learn a new one. I feel you.

My favorite song on the album beecause its the most fun is "All About the Love". It's my favorite because its the most uplifting. When you are in love, nothing else matters, well at first. It is a little short but the song has fun lyrics. For instance:
"Have you looked at me lately
I've been standing around here waiting
Isn't it so fascinating
When loves, in love, with you"
It's all about the love. Stop, close your eyes and think about it. It's nice isnt it?

I recommend this album, although the acoustic renditions, which I have, only seem to be available on iTunes. So get an account and get it. These interpretations are mine and loose at best. Listen to them, look for your own and enjoy some good music. Have I said that hangovers make me lazy?

My night sucked

Thats me wishing for what I want to happen, I'm wishing hard. How was yours?

Case Study: Captain No Balls

I recently stumbled upon a brilliant study on a friend of mine,seen here. I started to see if I could find some fault in logic or in methods of study and I found none. So I went back to the lair and decided to do I confirming analisis of his pussaptitude. The results were staggering. 100% of the time, he was at, as we in this made up field call "all engines go." As my method to study is through empirical evidence, much like the famed Dian Fossey, who lived among apes for several years, I noticed few times, he seemed as if he wanted to change. He would get drunk and sloppily hang on a girl, much like several of us have done, only to result in a mutual friendship of a "higher level" where he would cock block anyone so that their relationship would only result in less chance of sex and more ruining of a good time.

Now when I cross referenced alcohol with behavioral patterns, I found that not only did it confirm the aforementioned article and my own suspicions, but that he is and will most likely always be a sloppy dickless wonder. Now as I have perused his bountiful porn collection, if my memory serves me correct, I found the usual selections, coeds and what not. However most computers come well equipped with many folders, sub directories and hidden files. These hidden files may be the key to unlocking the mysteries of why. It is quite possible, with the mounds of data that I have collected, that he may be fond of a fetish not even known to his closest friends and relatives. What is this fetish? I can only begin to speculate. Some may say that it could be gay porn, I reject this only from the many times I've seen him try, although very little, and fail misrably with the members of the opposite sex. Maybe the enigma is just that, and can only be solved through math, stay with me on this. Now if pussaptitude is equal to the amount of times he's been a pussy multiplied by the amount of times he's cock blocked divided by the number of people that are similar to him, we have this equation: PA=CB/PS, no to adjust for his lack of usablility of his penis I'm forced to raise the right side of the equation leaving me with PA=3(CB/PS). As you can see the figures are astronomical.

The math left me with a number, but what exactly does it mean? Sure he's a vagina, but to what to we compare this too? I recently found a book on the internet while I was doing my research and this book God Is A Woman: The Origin Of Yahweh, Allah & The Gods Of India & Asia
, which I'm sure Niju has read and probably stores it with his bootlegs of the vagina monologues, encapsulates eveything that Niju believes. The woman, to our cases study, is on a much higher plane than we are, not only are they not looking for the same fun than we are, but they should not be tainted by our filthy hands. He's dillusional. He thinks he knows but has no experience in the field he believes himself to be so competent in. The only approach to remedy this situation is to send donations to DicklessWonder.org to help fund the research necesarry to get this man laid.




This article is currently under review by National Geographic and is expected to be available in the December issue. Matthew Brigmon is a medical analyst from La Sabana.